Angry Coming Home from Work? 3 Shifts.

Because God is a “stooping” God, in that Jesus humbled Himself, from the throne of heaven to a pigsty, we dads can do the same - because don’t our kiddos deserve the full weight of our attention and presence and grace the moment we get back from work, until they lay their heads on their pillow? Well, we often blow it don’t we? Here are 3 switches to make that’ll help. And if you stay to the end I have a bonus ritual for you.

And, listen, just so you and I are cool - I’m a father of three boys, so this one comes from the heart - and I’ve failed on countless accounts here, so we’re in it together. Thankfully, there is grace and a model for us as fathers in Christ.

Switch #1: Take off your watch and put on your cowboy hat. Listen, work life is run by a clock. There is an inherent time-progression and efficiency at work, where things are measured by getting tasks done, or even, “Ope, it’s 5 o’clock time to clock out…” This creates a hurry and blur and frustration and anger as you enter the Wild West of your home (understand the cowboy hat?). Work life is run by a clock, but family life is run by need. So, make that switch from the hands of a clock to the Hands of your children. Oh, that was bad…How many times have we hurried our kids around the house, from brushing teeth to putting on cleats, as if they were cogs in a great-big machine? So, maybe we lose the efficiency a little bit, put on the cowboy hat and think through situations with, “Okay, what does. What does my kid need right now and how can I help.” Otherwise, it’s anger.

Switch #2, Put down the mirror, and pick up the broom. Listen, there are two types of people out there: people who walk into a room and say, “Here I am” and those who walk in and say “There you are.” Men are best while serving, Work life is you-centered - it is - you get way more praise at work than at home. It’s optical, it’s paid, it’s measured…and that’s not, like, evil - let’s just name it: Achievement and Competition and Accomplishment marks work-life, but not home-life. Home-life and Family-Life is Them-centered. It is where heroic deeds go unnoticed, where gratification is delayed - and it’s marked by love and loyalty. And it’s humiliating, scrubbing poop from underneath the toilet, and there aren’t easy metrics for success, but we do it gladly, because the gospel soften our hearts, because we have Jesus, who took off the robes of heaven for the rags of humanity, who humbled himself to the cross, washed feet, touched lepers, held stinky children. Abiding in that kind of God helps us to stop being so impressed with ourselves - we can take ourselves off the trophy case and put down the mirror. Otherwise, it’s all anger.

Shift #3, is putting down the checklist…and giving hugs. Work life is largely task-oriented, projects and deadlines and checklists - don’t get me wrong, it’s high relational…I’m a pastor, so it’s all relationships - but Home-life isn’t compartmentalized, it isn’t just having your broom and doing chores…home-life is so fully integrated together than everything is personal, even doing the dishes - but, like, eternal souls walk the hallways of your home. And they don’t care about your day at work, your sales, your triumphs or blunders, because they care only about you. Give them hugs, teach them doctrine, shoot hoops and just “count them more significant than you and your checklist.

Well, you’ve made it to the end, so I’ll give you a bonus ritual: the garage door ritual. It’s not my idea, I’ve been taught, so I’ll share: On your drive back from work, there, sitting in your driveway, as the garage door is going up (or your equivalent, maybe it’s passing by a certain tree close to home), you say this one prayer, every day: “Okay, Jesus, my best me, my best hours, start now.” That’s it. It’s these little Shifts that can quell our anger - and in the Kingdom of grace, we can all take the next best step. Because we’ve all blown it, but blessed is the man who never stops starting over. Amen?

Take your next best step.